I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello', 'goodbye', and 'I'm pregnant'.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.